I bite

Escapist Extraordinaire.

You're probably here because:

Funny Shit
I make sense
I LOL at stupid shit

I love:
Advertising and Marketing Concepts
My Country

This Tumblr also serves as a repository of my varied interests and randomness.

You've been warned.
Recent Tweets @thegreatest
Posts tagged "relationships"

This made me sad


Once you get a girl’s phone number, it is a numbers game of whether she picks up the phone or even calls you back.

A good way to guarantee that she calls you back is to steal her jacket.

That way, when you call her: “Hey, I don’t know how this happened but I have your jacket.”

She will need to talk to you again to get her jacket back. 

(via crispyspacebacon)

Researchers from the Kinsey Institute in Bloomington, Ind. surveyed 1,009 heterosexual middle-aged and older couples in long-term relationships from five different countries, and found some surprising results, reports TIME.

Men who reported frequently kissing or cuddling with their partners were on average three times as happy with their relationships as men who reported limited interaction. Perhaps more surprising, the study found it was sexual satisfaction that was more important to women in long-term relationships. And it also found that for women, sex got better over time — they reported significantly more sexual satisfaction after being with their partner for 15 years.


This can apply to men as well as women…cause I do know some situations…but I’m mostly talking to women, cause I witness them the victims of it more.

Stop thinking you’re gonna get that guy you like to cum feelings for you. If you stayed up during sex ed or “the talk” you’d know that’s never what comes out of a penis.

Actually, not even just that…stop thinking that sex is a new plateau in the relationship…cause for a lot of men, and I mean a lot, it’s not the same at all.

Because you build up one, that doesn’t mean you’re actually scoring in the other arena. Sex for guys doesn’t really equal, “That was great, I need to date her”. Just, “I need to hit that again…and again…then find out if she likes girls…” Whereas I feel like women see sex vertically, meaning one is above the other…so you reach this level you’re now closer to something “real”, men see it a bit more separate…kinda like church and state. Yeah the two things are around each other but they don’t really have to have anything to do with each other. 

What that pretty much boils down to is you’re as likely to get a relationship out of sex as you are to get to heaven for paying taxes.

(via simonefiasco)




You aren’t single because you have specific quirks/flaws of character or appearance. You’re single because you haven’t found the partner that matches with those quirks yet! Jeez! Seriously, you’re all wonderful, just the way you are.

 Co-signed. I was wanting to express this exact same sentiment.

Okay. I think I’m just in a confrontational (see: BITCH) mood, but what if you never find that partner? That is possible. Not everyone gets married. Not everyone meets someone that they fall madly in love with and spend the rest of their lives with that person. Some people die single. Some people die without ever falling in love. That happens. And not everyone is wonderful. I have issues. I should work on fixing them. But maybe I won’t. And maybe that will have something to do with me dying single. I know I’m being morbid and crazy, but not everyone lives happily ever after. They just don’t. And I don’t see the harm in coming to terms with that.

^What she said.

Also, some ‘quirks’ or flaws do need to be corrected.  If some mofoe’s special fucking quirk was a taste for beating up women, what the fuck, is he supposed to walk around with a smile on his face thinking, “Someday there will be a woman just for me who will love the fact that I beat her ass up every day and twice on Sunday.”

I’m a glass half full typa guy, but fuck is that unrealistic BS.

(via ramou)


  • Drama does not give you depth; it only makes you unattractive and annoying.
  • Love is not destructive; it’s not supposed to make you do stupid things.
  • Brevity is the soul of wit.


That’s why I luff her.

Paella via Flickr

A friend laments whether he “deserves” a relationship.  I often wonder if this is a common occurence, the questioning of one’s  “worthiness.”

I won’t say relationships are simple and make you feel stupid for not being good at it.  In fact, I do believe they’re fairly complicated things that need constant attention and nurturing. But the one frame of mind one should NOT fall into is convincing yourself that it’s not for you.

I liken the ability to interact romantically with another person to cooking.  You’re not born with it, but most of how to do it has become stock knowledge, and many books have been written on both subjects.  At first (if you are truly motivated to succeed at it) you follow the examples laid by your peers, parents, and maybe pick up a book on the subject.  A person just learning how to cook (or burn food as it usually goes) will use recipes to create dishes, but over time and constant practice, eventually learn to discern the nuances of all the different spices and ingredients that work together to make a savory meal.  As with relationships, you can’t expect to get it right the first time, the second time, or even the third time.  But practice (and observation) makes perfect, or close to it at least.  This of course is an over-simplification as every person is different, while cooking ingredients have a predictable consistency to them.  But, there will always be traits common in every person, and emotions that take similar stimuli to tap.  So what one learns from a particular experience can generally be applied to the next, in moderation of course.

Over time, this ability will give one confidence.  Not the misplaced, over-compensating swagger of a young buck in his new hiphop gear, but the secure serenity that exudes from a man in Saville Row’s finest who knows his place in the world, and that he deserves it.

You can take this a step further, and compare your ideal partner or mate to your favorite dish.  It is reasonable to assume that if one had any motivation to prepare his favorite dish, he would start to fine tune the mix of spices to suit his taste.  The same goes for the ideal partner: If you had an idea what qualities you want in one, then you would eventually develop and adopt the skills and traits that will attract that kind of person.  It comes with maturity, and quite possibly the realization that one must work for things that are worth it.

This is about as simple as I can explain it.  I’m positive you’re not the first person to doubt himself and his self worth, but you can be one of those who did something about it.  Many have expressed their desire for a particular person or specific traits, but have not taken a long look at themselves and asked the harder question: Do they deserve that type of person?

In works in reverse too, sometimes it pays to ask if that person deserves YOU.