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Posts tagged "life"

My life, basically.

I remember reading a story about a guy who had gotten divorced in his early 30s and in his funk, his family decided it would be a good thing for him to spend a week visiting his aunt and uncle in a different state … He was moping and feeling sorry for himself, but on the first morning there, his uncle woke him up early for breakfast. But breakfast was not made yet. So, he watched and talked to his uncle while his uncle cooked breakfast.

His uncle made cheese scrambled eggs with hash browns and onions, a side of room temperature salsa, bacon, melon and buttered wheat toast with local honey. He also had a small glass of freshly squeezed orange juice and a cup of brewed coffee. When he gave his nephew the food, everything was cooked to perfection. Everything that was supposed to be hot was still hot. The nephew dug in and loved every bite, but at some point made some comment about his uncle not having to go all out to please him.

His uncle responded that what he made was a simple, typical breakfast, and that he had not done anything unusual … for him. He went on to say that everyone sets standards for themselves. Breakfast for many people is just eating sustenance and they have never thought about how they could perfect every step in the process so that you end up making a meal that is the best that you can do. But if they do strive for “better” continuously, at some point the quality of what they produce ends up being consistently very high.

It was more a statement on how you live your life. Cooking can be a reflection of your approach to everything. Do the best that you can and if you burn the toast, do it again, right. Food can be both an expression of how much you care for others as well as a reinforcement for how much you care about yourself.

For everything you want to cook, there are things you can do to make sure it tastes as good as you can imagine it could taste, and there are things you can do that will minimize the chance that it will not turn out well.

So, let’s think about that breakfast for a minute. There are numerous videos on youtube that teach you to cook perfect scrambled eggs. They explain the temperatures, how long to beat them and how to beat them. How hot the pan should be. How do you minimize the chance that the eggs will stick. How to season them, and when. How a heat-tolerant spatula makes the best utensil to stir the eggs. When you add cheese and what kind of cheese at what temperature. When do you remove them from the heat so they don’t overcook.

Same with bacon. Same with hashbrowns. Same with everything.

If you want to be a better cook, strive to be one. Take everything one step at a time … you might try learning to cook a new dish every day, or a new dish every week. Cook things multiple times and strive to get better each time.

Taste as you go, and if what you are making needs something to enhance the palette of flavor, figure out what that is.

Flavors are much like scents and the way we perceive them is similar. We can taste multiple things at one time … top notes, bottom notes … after tastes. Pay attention to those subtle differences and learn to manipulate them to achieve blends that are more satisfying.

For all we know for sure, we live once. There is no reason to live a life eating substandard food. Food is important. Food is sustenance, but a good diet can add ten years to your life, while a bad diet can cut 30 years off your life.

We are creatures with limited means to interpret the world around us … and Food is a sensory experience …

Striving to be a better cook is a noble and worthwhile goal that pays off with a lifetime of rewards … every time you eat. And it can be as much an expression of love as a kind word, a hug, or great sex.

It can be a gift to yourself and those around you.

But no pressure.

One of the keys to success is confidence. The key to confidence is fucking up and learning from it.
“‘Moving on and closure’ – what do they mean, where do you move on to, what closes?” Those are cliches from people who have not experienced grief. It’s another example of the narrowmindedness about these situations and the impatience with people who have suffered a loss.
The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths. These persons have an appreciation, a sensitivity, and an understanding of life that fills them with compassion, gentleness, and a deep loving concern. Beautiful people do not just happen.
― Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
In life we all have an unspeakable secret, and irreversible regret, an unreachable dream, and an unforgettable love.
— Diego Marchi (via renegadeloverrr)

Note: OceanSkys is 23 and has terminal cancer.

Note: That quote is more of a paraphrase of what Marcus Aurelius actually wrote.

3. Read as much as you can. Learn to speed read with high retention. Emerson Spartz taught me this while I was at a Summit Series event. If he reads 2-3 books a week, you can read one.

4. Connect with everyone, all the time. Be genuine about it. Learn to find something you like in each person, and then speak to that thing.

5. Don’t waste time being shy. Shyness is the belief that your emotions should be the arbitrators of your decision making process when the opposite is actually true.

Keep reading…

If you meet someone whose soul is not aligned with yours, send them love and move along.

Wayne W. Dyer (via simply-quotes)

fuckyeahyoga: I like how he calls toxic friends someone “whose soul is not aligned with yours”. That’s not exactly how I would word it!

(via fearsomesymmetry)

(via fearsomesymmetry)

Optimism is the belief that good things will happen to you and that negative events are temporary setbacks to be overcome.

Here is a list of 15 things which, if you give up on them, will make your life a lot easier and much, much happier. We hold on to so many things that cause us a great deal of pain, stress and suffering – and instead of letting them all go, instead of allowing ourselves to be stress free and happy – we cling on to them. Not anymore. Starting today we will give up on all those things that no longer serve us, and we will embrace change. Ready? Here we go:

1. Give up your need to always be right

There are so many of us who can’t stand the idea of being wrong – wanting to always be right – even at the risk of ending great relationships or causing a great deal of stress and pain, for us and for others. It’s just not worth it. Whenever you feel the ‘urgent’ need to jump into a fight over who is right and who is wrong, ask yourself this question: “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be kind?” Wayne Dyer. What difference will that make? Is your ego really that big?

2. Give up your need for control

Be willing to give up your need to always control everything that happens to you and around you – situations, events, people, etc. Whether they are loved ones, coworkers, or just strangers you meet on the street – just allow them to be. Allow everything and everyone to be just as they are and you will see how much better will that make you feel.

“By letting it go it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. But when you try and try. The world is beyond winning.” Lao Tzu

3. Give up on blame

Give up on your need to blame others for what you have or don’t have, for what you feel or don’t feel. Stop giving your powers away and start taking responsibility for your life.

4. Give up your self-defeating self-talk

 Oh my. How many people are hurting themselves because of their negative, polluted and repetitive self-defeating mindset? Don’t believe everything that your mind is telling you – especially if it’s negative and self-defeating. You are better than that.

“The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly. Used wrongly, however, it becomes very destructive.” Eckhart Tolle

5. Give up your limiting beliefs

about what you can or cannot do, about what is possible or impossible. From now on, you are no longer going to allow your limiting beliefs to keep you stuck in the wrong place. Spread your wings and fly!

“A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind” Elly Roselle

6. Give up complaining

Give up your constant need to complain about those many, many, maaany things – people, situations, events that make you unhappy, sad and depressed. Nobody can make you unhappy, no situation can make you sad or miserable unless you allow it to. It’s not the situation that triggers those feelings in you, but how you choose to look at it. Never underestimate the power of positive thinking.

7. Give up the luxury of criticism

Give up your need to criticize things, events or people that are different than you. We are all different, yet we are all the same. We all want to be happy, we all want to love and be loved and we all want to be understood. We all want something, and something is wished by us all.

8. Give up your need to impress others

Stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not just to make others like you. It doesn’t work this way. The moment you stop trying so hard to be something that you’re not, the moment you take off all your masks, the moment you accept and embrace the real you, you will find people will be drawn to you, effortlessly.

9. Give up your resistance to change

Change is good. Change will help you move from A to B. Change will help you make improvements in your life and also the lives of those around you. Follow your bliss, embrace change – don’t resist it.
“Follow your bliss and the universe will open doors for you where there were only walls” 
Joseph Campbell

10. Give up labels

Stop labeling those things, people or events that you don’t understand as being weird or different and try opening your mind, little by little. Minds only work when open. “The highest form of ignorance is when you reject something you don’t know anything about.” Wayne Dyer

11. Give up on your fears

Fear is just an illusion, it doesn’t exist – you created it. It’s all in your mind. Correct the inside and the outside will fall into place.
“The only thing we have to fear, is fear itself.”
 Franklin D. Roosevelt

12. Give up your excuses

Send them packing and tell them they’re fired. You no longer need them. A lot of times we limit ourselves because of the many excuses we use. Instead of growing and working on improving ourselves and our lives, we get stuck, lying to ourselves, using all kind of excuses – excuses that 99.9% of the time are not even real.

13. Give up the past

I know, I know. It’s hard. Especially when the past looks so much better than the present and the future looks so frightening, but you have to take into consideration the fact that the present moment is all you have and all you will ever have. The past you are now longing for – the past that you are now dreaming about – was ignored by you when it was present. Stop deluding yourself. Be present in everything you do and enjoy life. After all life is a journey not a destination. Have a clear vision for the future, prepare yourself, but always be present in the now.

14. Give up attachment

This is a concept that, for most of us is so hard to grasp and I have to tell you that it was for me too, (it still is) but it’s not something impossible. You get better and better at with time and practice. The moment you detach yourself from all things, (and that doesn’t mean you give up your love for them – because love and attachment have nothing to do with one another,  attachment comes from a place of fear, while love… well, real love is pure, kind, and self less, where there is love there can’t be fear, and because of that, attachment and love cannot coexist) you become so peaceful, so tolerant, so kind, and so serene. You will get to a place where you will be able to understand all things without even trying. A state beyond words.

15. Give up living your life to other people’s expectations

Way too many people are living a life that is not theirs to live. They live their lives according to what others think is best for them, they live their lives according to what their parents think is best for them, to what their friends, their enemies and their teachers, their government and the media think is best for them. They ignore their inner voice, that inner calling. They are so busy with pleasing everybody, with living up to other people’s expectations, that they lose control over their lives. They forget what makes them happy, what they want, what they need….and eventually they forget about themselves.  You have one life – this one right now – you must live it, own it, and especially don’t let other people’s opinions distract you from your path.



I found this man on 7th Avenue in Park Slope. He was leaning heavily on his cane, looking down, wearing a grimaced face. I felt bad for him, so I smiled and waved when I walked past. His face changed completely. He lit up, smiled wide, and gave me a cheery greeting. There was nothing forced about it. He seemed like a man who went through life looking for the smallest excuses to be happy.

I walked 50 feet down the sidewalk, turned around, and walked back to him. “I want to take your photo,” I told him, “because of how big you smiled when I walked by.”

He said: “Well I saw someone smiling at me who I didn’t even know. So I thought: ‘By God! I Better do something!’”

(via blahhahahahaharg)